Being a Finer Lover (Redefined)

The Prenovices: Accepted! (Photo taken last December 8, 2007, from l to r: Oliver Bautista, Throy Fuentebella, Rowell Laguna, Fr. Rolo Alcasid, SDB, Marc Will Lim (me), Francis Marcelino and Juvelan Samia)

It was never easy to stand up on what you believe is right. Nevertheless, if one’s heart truly desire it attached with much willingness and guided by Divine providence, everything will follow.

I just finished a discernment retreat together with other Pre-Novices of the Salesians of Don Bosco. And it is indeed wonderful. The experience alone directed me to the path God wanted me to take.

Having an intense desire to be a religious will never be sufficient. It should be supported by right motivations in addition to one’s fitness to the call.

I can never say I perfectly suit it nor other can declare such. But what is very clear to me is BROKEN as I am, I am but perfected by God for He accepted and loved me despite my defects. And I am at my best when I am shared.

For the past six years of my life I have been guided by a quote I found from one of St. Josemaria Escriva’s books which state:

“My life is consists of loving,

And if with loving I am familiar.

It is because I sorrowed much,

For there is no finer lover,

than one who has suffered much.”

I still remember using this as part of my very first column on the Commerce Propaganda, the UST College of Commerce broadsheet. I was praised because of it. Aside from the many good remarks I received from friends, positive comments poured in from those who happened to take a glimpse on the article. I remember one exclaiming, “I can’t wait for your next column. You don’t know how inspired I was by your sharing.” And that gave me more reason to write to the point of starting an official newsletter even though I am already serving as the Treasurer of the UST Commerce Student Council. And now, as a seminarian I am inclined to produce a magazine, although somehow remains too early to tell since a lot of approvals and organizations need to be done, but still I am optimistic.

Why then have I cited once more the principle that has directed my life through the years? My answer is simple. It is because I wanted to share it beauty. It did work for me. And I am sure it will to others as well. The same person who made the remarked above can also gives his own attestation to this claim.

True enough, LOVING is just so hard to understand. All along I thought that it is but sufficient to just give yourself, enduring all the sacrifices and sorrows attached to it, but that is not love alone. Rather, it is martyrdom which is self-seeking. For this kind of love settles on the need to be appreciated, a matter of fulfillment on one’s pride.

Love should then be understood as charity, a kind of love, which allows others to love in return.

God continues to show this love to us. He loves us. And there is no question about that. Graces continues to pour in. Blessings shower upon us. But then, trials also arise, challenges occurs and misfortunes transpire. These things happen for a reason and it include LOVE. From such we learn how to bend our knees, to return to God and pray. Thus, we become more appreciative, more resilient, and more helpful, for love is not sweet words alone but rather it involves action, sometimes painful to bear.

The Lord died on the cross to save us, to redeem us, to show how much He really loves us. But it doesn’t stop there. After which he left a strong command mandating us to love each other giving us a clear opportunity to love. Before ascending to heaven, He said:

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always until the end of age.”

Matthew 28: 17-20

This is how a finer lover should be defined. A lover whose willingness to offer oneself lies primarily to his wanting to let others showcase their own love to their neighbors.

I am full of hope that as the year commences all of us Filipinos will strive and struggle to love. We have known the answer in our problems long way before and that is to love. But, have we done something about it? I surmise not. Human as we are, we might have misinterpreted it differently.

We have to love, love that is true and genuine, love that lays down it concern to the benefit of others yet giving them enough chance also to love in return. Let this be our quest for the coming year to be proud saying I AM A FINER LOVER.

“Cor contritum et humaliatum, Deus non despicies.”

(“A contrite and humbled heart, O God you will not despise.”)